The social conventions of Valentine’s Day were easier waters to navigate when we were a kid. All you had to do was buy a box of pre-made cards from the drug store, and let She-Ra or the X-Men or Toy-Story-1 play Cyrano between you and the paper bag mailboxes of your peers.
But these days, how do you say: “I’m an adult with adult sensibilities and I am extending you a Valentine’s Day greeting”? Well, you can just walk right up to somebody and say that exact phrase to them, or you can act like less of a total robot and lay one of these sweet cards on ‘em! Finally, Valentines that combine the spirit of the holiday with all the fun of David Fincher’s 1995 Thriller Se7en. Print out the handy PDF onto your paper of choice, cut them out and you’re off to the races. THE SMOOCH RACES JACK